AGONY UNCLE

dear fireseed
i feel lost, puzzled and confused
my everyday life has been thrown out of kilter
and i am not sure who i am or what i want any more
i have been feeling excited but frustrated and afraid
let me explain
i have been happily married for some years to a loving husband
and we have a sweet little daughter who we cherish
but recently a new person has entered my life
someone who i cannot stop thinking about
who makes my heart beat faster
who has opened up new avenues of thinking and being
but who is from a different culture to mine
and who i struggle to communicate with as i would wish
like me he also has a family
i feel disorientated and do not know where to turn
who to confide in
how i need some of your gentle words of wisdom right now, fireseed
with love and best wishes
elaine

my dear elaine
thank you for your letter
i feel for you and understand your predicament
your situation well sums up the human condition
the collective divine comedy through which we live
that hall of mirrors
where we walk a narrow tightrope between the twin pillars of virtue and sin
no safety net beneath us
where we are in perpetual danger of 'missing the mark'
as the buddha would say
for each waking hour we must make a choice
between sloth and diligence
between gluttony and abstinence
between greed and liberality
between anger and kindness
between envy and patience
between pride and humility
between lust and chastity
of course we are all 'sinners'
so frequently we stray from the right path
failing to learn from our mistakes
forced to suffer in perpetual purgatory
enduring and re-enduring over and over again
we are penitents walking through hot flames
we stand in the fertile orchard
midway between a plum tree and a peach tree
staring longingly up at the fragrant forbidden fruit
unable to reach up and grasp it
even as it hangs invitingly from the spreading boughs
under the hot sun
our throats are parched with a burning thirst
as we gaze at the cool crystal waters flowing by
our backs are bent under the weight of heavy stones
our eyes are sewn shut with wire
we walk with heads bowed as we feel the crack of the whip
we cannot deny our humanity
but we must seek to follow the path
lust is transient
friendship endures
you must choose between virtue and sin
between happiness and unhappiness
please do not spend your precious life in purgatory
love
fireseed