REMEMBRANCE

today is samil jeol in sk
a national holiday commemorating the 'march 1st movement'
the nationwide independence movement which took place in 1919
in protest against Japan's colonisation
and was violently suppressed
the taegukgi has been unfurled
flying in the breeze above the streets of the country
the taeguk in the centre of the flag represents the origin of all things in the universe
the red yin and the blue yang merge into one against a pure white backround
a continuous movement within infinity
four trigrams are arranged around the yin-yang circle
representing heaven, earth, sun and moon
spring, summer, autumn and winter
east, west, south and north
virtue, justice, courtesy and knowledge or wisdom
a flag full of elemental meaning
a flag to be proud of
but march 1st raises a more personal ghost from the past
for today was also the birthday of my nan
my dad's mother
the only grandparent who i had much time to get to know
nan was a true twentieth century girl
born in 1903, the year the wright brothers flew the first aircraft
she died nearly a century later in 1995
the internet established
by that time the world had changed out of all recognition
politically, economically, technologically...
nan and i were kindred spirits
we had a kind of special empathy
enjoyed each other's company
every time i looked at her
she would smile at me
and i would look away shyly
i was her blue-eyed boy
i would spend large chunks of my half-term school holidays
staying with her in her old house
with its larder and its high beds and its porcelain bath and washbasin
we would play endless games of scrabble and chinese chequers
eat ham sandwiches and slices of cake
drink endless cups of delicious tea
which left little leaves in the bottom of the cup
nan's house was a safe refuge from the misery of school
she would tell me the same funny stories
about when i was little
the time aunty gladys and us
were chased around birmingham botanical gardens
by some over-aggressive peacocks
my favourite tale was the one where nan and i met a friend of hers in the street
and she was telling the friend about me passing the eleven plus
getting a place at grammar school
'he's quite clever, you know' said nan
'why did you tell that lady i'm quite clever?' i apparently asked afterwards
'well, you are quite clever' said nan
'no, i'm not, i'm very clever!' i replied...
i wrote i song about nan after she died
it was called oldest friend

as she lay there on a hospital bed
and i couldn't be there
all those stories, kind words
put a lump in my throat
but i couldn't cry
when the phonecall came
to say she'd passed away
home to england i flew
and the cherry tree blossom was falling on the green grass
so we followed the hearse
through the streets to the church
and the world just carried on shouting
and four men in black coats wheeled a small wooden box inside
with her inside
oh those ancient christian words
so often heard
but not felt like those today
an extraordinary lady who lived such an ordinary life
and they lowered her down
to a hole in the ground
and covered her over with earth
and the person who cared about everything i did was gone
oh she was gone
now there's no going back
to those untroubled days
to the house where i felt so safe
for now i know too much about this cruel world and its ways