BLOCK

oh it's been like this for weeks now
this dust that smothers and suffocates
this windblown substance that alights on every surface
and clings to it
stubbornly like grease
this layer of dirt that blocks out the sun
a grey film that coats everything
the street
the trees
the grass
the buildings
the house
the furniture
the floor
adding to the intolerable domestic muck
the gunge
the sludge
the mould
the damp
the detritus
the stickiness
the general mess
that overwhelms chez fireseed
forgive me if you've heard this one before
the chaos that is our 'domestic bliss'
the cupboards and drawers
chocabloc with mixed-up bits of this and that
the half-complete games
toys
stationery sets
jigsaw puzzles
the bookshelves that sag
under the weight of stacked-up paraphenalia
(one collapsed the other week!)
the piles of receipts
bills
notices
photographs
postcards
artwork
scrap paper
covering every horizontal, vertical and diagonal surface
from floor to ceiling
the huge noticeboard-cum-wastepaper basket
which is the fridge
the murky aquarium with its rotting plants
the paint pots
the piggy banks
the jars of fishfood
the plastic animals
the god-knows-what
the felt concoctions that mrs f creates for her storytelling classes
the weeds sprout their tendrils wherever they can take root
oh i know i shouldn't let it get to me, my seeds
that i should try to ignore it and get on with my daily business
but i just can't stand it
after all, an englishman's home is his castle
and even thinking about attending to this overgrown allotment
exhausts, blocks and stifles me
and now i even got blogger's block
i sit here yesterday for an hour
while the house is empty of lovely mrs fireseed
and our sweet little fireseedlet
god bless them
and try to give shape to a poem that will not form
oh it is agonising, dear readers
the forced rhymes
the jarring couplets
the clumsy metaphors
the lot!
everything that a piece of art should not be
after no blog for nine days
is this all i can muster?
i can't help but be frustrated with myself
for part of the art of living must be to keep going
day after day
day in and day out
don't let the bastards get ya down
being one of my main mottos
(whoever or whatever those bastards may be!)
so there's a big part of me that says
i should always come up with the goods
and i did manage it for a while
i had a pretty good january and a great february
knocking out new songs
banging out a blog each day
sometimes even two!
while juggling the roles of teacher
manager
musician
father
husband
and friend
but i didn't have such a good march
and it's been a bleak april
wracked by indecision
self-doubt
and sleepless nights
burning the proverbial candle all ends
but then there is another part of me that says
hey! hang on
give yourself a break
just like you have learnt to give others a break
nobody is perfect
everyone needs a time out
so it goes
as the dear departed mr vonnegut would say
the art of living
is hanging in there
weathering the storm
and bouncing back
hang in there with me!