TECHNOPHOBIA

not only did all my music files disappear into the ether
but my home studio is down
the brains of my operations
reduced to an ailing bundle of incompatible components
incommunicado
engaged in internecine warfare
when i set up my studio five years ago
twas a dream come true
creating my own little sergeant pepperpots
an abbey road studio 2 in my spare room
but it was as a techno-ignoramus
that i shelled out my hard-earned cash
i purchased a package from a bloke in an electronics mall
who flogged me the cheapest and nastiest of almost everything
at the time i didn't have much idea what i was buying
a computer with a digital recorder and sequencer inside
but over the years
thirty-odd songs and three albums down the line
after multiple crashes
compatibility problems
lost files
i've learnt a few techno lessons the hard and frustrating way
the perennial language barrier when talking to korean teccies
has further clouded the issue
but i was looking for a silver lining and i've found one
after doing a bit of research
i've realised that my sound card
is a cheap piece of rubbish
designed for gaming
not up to the task of driving a decent home studio
so i open up the computer case
ceremonially rip out my crappy old sound card
which doesn't like my digital recording software
and replace it with a decent quality one
that i bought from a shop in the nagwon centre
the mecca of seoul musicians
i'm quite proud of myself
that i've finally got the confidence and know-how
to recognise and replace a sound card
for up to now opening up a computer
was always a bit like opening up a car bonnet
a bewildering collection of mechanical parts
with no obvious indication as to what does what
but i worked out that all you need to do
is to relate the connectors and slots on the outside
to what's going on on the inside
that way you can link the monitor to the graphics card
the sound cables to the sound card
and so on
i guess the processor is the brain
and the motherboard the central nervous system
quite simple really!
of course lo and behold
when i try to install the new card
i get a message in korean
telling me that the computer doesn't recognise it
my synth keyboard has simultaneously decided to go on the blink, too
so i'm stuck where i was
unable to make music!
unsure about the abilities of my old workhorse computer
to stand the strain
we take hannah for a visit to yongsan electronics mart
it's an incredible place
a labyrinthine web of shops and corridors
full of legions of little guys assembling components
into mean machines
with soaring specifications
we get a quote for a new machine
they suggest a hard drive of 250 gigabites
with two gigabites of ram
wow - that's a lot of sheep this machine could count!
but i ain't convinced i need it
perhaps there's still a chance to resurrect my old faithful
there is a minor triumph today, though
by doing an internet search
we manage to find a hacking code
which converts our dvd player into a region-free machine
pity i've just returned the complete series of 'the office'
which i borrowed from someone about a year ago!...
technology
love it and hate it
love it for the possibilities it offers
the doors it opens
the 'office in every home' democratisation
the undeniable comforts
hate it for the problems it causes
the way it relentlessly drives industrialisation
rampant consumerism
turbocapitalism
the way it dislocates and severs us from the natural world
the way it threatens to push the human race into the abyss