Tuesday, February 13, 2007

EQUILIBRIUM

rain
no, not the beatles' greatest b-side again
but a rare event in sk during the winter
the sky closes in and darkens
sheets of acid-laced droplets
fall on the people scuttling through the streets beneath my window
those who have an umbrella hide under it
others bow their heads
caught unawares
suddenly its like england
drab, grey and lifeless
i feel a pang of non-homesickness
should be heading that way right now
but i got this here blog to do
so perseverence is needed
fighting the yoga head
the sleepy mind
the tired brain turned to mush
too many late nights and 4:30ams
not enough early to beds and lie-ins
too much work and not enough play
too much al desko and not enough con familia
too many emails and not enough guitar strums
a life spent fighting for equilibrium and balance
work, leisure, friends, family, self, art
the art of living
sometimes feels like an impossible task
every day wondrous new novels and non-fictions are written
which cannot possibly all be read
fabulous new architecture rises to the sky
which cannot possibly be gazed upon or entered
gorgeous new melodies and harmonies and lyrics are composed
which cannot all be heard
beautiful, sensual, fascinating people walk the earth
who can never be met
my mind spins tantalising fantasies
which cannot be lived out
dreams which can never be caught
(without the help of the dreamcatcher!)
all of this is a losing battle
one step forward and two steps back
if i think about it too much it starts to drive me crazy
like when i returned to pale and pasty england
from my 18-month travels in 1991
and abruptly the scenery stopped changing every day
when the monotony of the 'what's for tea, mom?'
became almost too much to bear
the only way to deal with all this of course
is to abandon the past and future and home in on the here and now
the miracle that lies within the mundane, the everyday and the commonplace
retaining the curiosity and delight of the child
the raindrops running down my windowpane
the watch ticking quietly away on my wrist
the universe in a grain of sand?
i am taking lessons from my little hannah elisabeth
who unknowingly helps me to learn what i have forgotten

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

the beauty of disequilibrium

I remember
when I used to live in Kangnam
I always passed by a crossroad nearby COEX
it's almost the centre of this city
but, an ugly archetecture
was rising there,
it looked like an huge black cube, with a sloping slim red stick went through, supporting it
some strange rungs hang on the front wall
it was not easy to find where the door was
when at last I found it,
I felt sorry for the people
who were swallowed by this big monster

it's was a stranger, an outsider, an alien of this area,
it's almost a symbol of disequilibrium, disharmony in my heart
I could not find any beautiful element on it
wondering why it should be here


but one day
when I passing by again,
abruptly
I got to know what the architect's
wanna speak out,
it was
"BREAK THE RULE,
GET OUT OF THE RESTRAINT."

Anonymous said...

dear early bird fireseed
why not just have a restful night?

but.. how was the journey like?
there must be a lots of stories under your fingertips...

Happy valentine's day.