FLASHBACKS

i remember the first time
i tasted tofu
soft white cubes of insipid blancmange
scooped from a dish
belonging to a chap named malcolm
in a kitchen in surry hills
i remember the first time
i saw a swallowtail
catching the sunlight
as it fluttered gently over the walls
of a mediaeval fort in south korea
i remember the first time
i went to primary school
holding my mother's hand tightly
as we walked along audley road
to meet the headmaster
i remember the first time
i kissed a girl
the intoxication
the enveloping darkness
in the back row of the movie theatre
i remember the first time
i read about thermonuclear destruction
some time during the cold war
the shock
the horror
the nightmares
i remember the first time
i saw a human corpse
slowly burning and crumbling
as the bahng lassi kicked in
among the smoke and the ash
on the banks of the ganges in varanasi
i remember the first time
i met my wife
her demureness
her embarrassment
when i thought she was taiwanese
i remember the first time
i cradled hannah elisabeth in my arms
the first time i gazed
at this tiny wrinkled wriggling little creature
gasping for air
drinking in life
wrapped up tight in a white blanket
i remember the first time
i noticed signs of ageing
sensed my impermanence
the day i detected a subtly receding hairline
framed in the mirror
of a nottingham bedroom
how i cried that day
i remember the first time
i heard rem's murmur
bursting from a ghetto blaster
as andy p gavin r n i
walked home along the beach to our campsite
at canet plage
the summer of 1986
i remember the first time
i posted something on this blog
unsure of what to write
how to write it
or who was gonna read it
now how could i forget